"Five minute window"

Drive (2011)

 This is without a doubt one of the most spectacular film of 2011 surpassing X-men First Class, HP Deathly Hallows pt2 and the sleeper hit Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Relatively known Ryan Gosling brings screen dominance and presence to a rather indie film with a low budget and semi-known cast.

Now I am an avid movie-goer who enjoys the fuck out of big budget explosions, thinly-veiled plots, and the cheesy liners. But sometimes, there is a calm and collected piece of art that is able to grasp the mind of a 21yr old whos only concerns are getting laid and cheating in the next exam.

I'm not going to pretend I know shit about film, I don't watch the classics such as Gone With The Wind or some shit like that (I mean cmon bro) and I haven't studied shit about filmmaking and all that shazazz but films like Drive, even a idiotic teenager can appreciate the effort and creativity that's gone into it.

Drive is about "Driver" (Gosling) a part-time stuntsman who moonlights as a criminal getaway driver. A man suspended in the present - no ambitions, no goals - with his past is hidden to the audience. He befriends his neighbour Irene (Carey Mulligan from Wall Street Money Never Sleeps) and develops feelings while simultaneously excels under the mentorship/management of Shannon (Bryan Cranston who's the dad from Malcolm in the Middle lol). Things get tense when a crime goes wrong with alot of money and lives at stake, and bizzarely gangbangers and mobsters get involved and its up to "Driver" to uncover the truth.

The acting is excellent. Gosling gives a fucking ace performance as the quiet "Driver" with minimal dialogue but expressions that say over 9000 words. Few people might be offput by the silence in this film however the eyes and movement of each character speaking profoundly. The actors are blessed with breathtaking cinematography (lights and imagery and shit) of LA day and night bringing a deep, understated tone to the film. This isn't a film that you can fall asleep or be on mobile twitter/facebook for half the time(kill urselves) and still understand. Every minute needs attention in order to comprehend the actions/motives and thoughts of the characters.

The action scenes are well scripted with a serious approach (unlike Fast Five LOL), the car chasing, fist fighting, and shootout scenes are all done with purpose and creativity with every little detail fleshed out(pun intended?). Small enchancements such as the Patek Phillipe watch,satin scorpion jacket and THOSE FUARKEN SEXY DRIVING GLOVES brings style and substance to this mysterious protagonist. The 80's synthesised retro music also gives this film a unique taste. Keep an eye out for a few sexy cars.

After an intense opening scene, the first half becomes more calm but rises to produce the latter half of incredible action and exposition scenes without negatively influencing the pacing, a credit to director Nicholas Winding Refn - there wasn't a moment where I was dozing off or daydreaming, an achievement in and of itself considering the 21yr old brain never usually concentrates for more than a minute.

Definitely worth the admission cost, incredible film - 9.5/10

I WANT THOSE DAMN DRIVING GLOVES

"WTF IS THIS"

Coning, what the fuck is coning? this is seriously one of the most retarded shit people can ever do. and isnt it a bitch to clean up?
coning is for people who crave attention no matter what, i mean youre basically just having instant retarded gratification by thinking that a minimum wage highschool dropout would give two fucks for some "prank"


retards like these:





and this dumbass who thinks hes awesome, look at that smirk o lord, he must be thinking he's the coolest cat there is:

and good on the manager who fucked these guys up, too bad the hot babe got fucken demolished:





dont get me started on planking...

“FUAAARRRRRKKK”

This is a late tribute to Aziz Shavershian better known as the internet celebrity Zyzz. Whoever’s reading this without knowing this Zyzz persona, heres a recap:

Zyzz was an Australian internet celebrity and social networking (I hate that term) phenomenon who gained a large following by his godlike sculpted body, his bizarre antics and his overwhelming confidence. Unfortunately he passed away in August, 2011 in a Thailand sauna aged 22.

Zyzz was the epitome of accomplishment as percieved by many, MANY males (and some females). He was earning considerably amounts of money, had the perfect body and could pull any chick he wanted - in essence the 3 most sought after talents that are hardwired into the male brain.

But what caused this relentless infatuation that the young public was so hypotised by? It's was a success story, it's the ugly duckling tale, it's the caterpillar that morphed into a butterfly. Zyzz was a weakling, a 90 pound skinny kid who would stay holed up playing World of Warcraft all day and masturbating to cartoon porn at night, but then he discovered bodybuilding (and steroids lol). 

His whole demeanor changed, Zyzz himself stated stated that he feels fucking awesome taking control of a room not with force but with sheer confidence and energy. I personally met him twice at Fitness First thinking "whos this guy? is this Zyzz? hes massive."

 

So what I want to share most is that Zyzz was an inspiration and motivation for ALOT of people. He became a beacon of success to many nerds and casual gym goers alike, that it WAS ATTAINABLE to the average joe  - the sayings Zyzz used on the internet were becoming as common as "hello" 

-"come at me, brah" 

-"u mad?"<are u angry?> 

-"u jelly?"<are you jealous> 

-"u mirin?" <are you admiring?his body> 

-"FUARRRKK" <fuck, when something good/surprising/awesome happens>

People were looking into Zyzz's antics and applying it (hopefully in a positive direction) in their own lives by joining a gym to get healthy, coming out of depression, becoming less lazy and more motivated, getting a job and so on.

But Zyzz did have his share of negative feedback, many people were calling him a faggot, a dickhead, a fucking idiot, why is he wearing eyeliner?lol, his hair looks shit, his tattoos look fucking disgusting etc.

Zyzz was the persona the public saw but not the real Aziz, close friends of mine and his say Aziz was a funny, humble young adult who took nothing serious and was extremely loyal.

Rest in Peace

Son of Zeus, Brother of Hercules, Father of Aesthetics

"There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign"

Dear friends,

 you get a free kitten